Well, no he hasn’t really, but we here at DonaldTrumpIsADick.com have come up with a list we think is pretty viable if he were to become the President of the United States (shudder!). Remember, you saw it here first:
- Secretary of Defense: Donald J. Trump
- Attorney General: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of the Interior: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of State: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of the Treasury: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of Agriculture: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of Labor: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of Energy: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of Education: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Donald J. Trump
- Secretary of Homeland Security: Donald J. Trump
Secretary of Immigration: CABINET POSITION ELIMINATED
Señor D-Bag just thinks that Persians are great negotiators.” (And let’s be honest, they’re great cats, too!)
It’s getting harder now to figure out on which side of his mouth Donald Trump is talking. He hates Mexicans, but probably employs them, as he’s said. He’s also said over and over again that China is eating our lunch. But, as we’ve learned, the Trump line of cheap, crappy and downright ugly clothes are, naturally, MADE IN CHINA.
So let’s review: No to Mexican labor!* No to China!*
*Doesn’t apply to anything related to Donald Trump and his companies.
Hey, Donald, the correct usage is, “You are the racist. Not me.” And come on Dick, you can’t come up with a better retort than that? You’re basically saying, “I know you are, but what am I.” What are you in 3rd grade?
That said, I’ll gladly offer up my services to be your Head Put-Down Consultant. My fee: No money! Simply move to a deserted island and die alone. Reasonable? Let me know. Glad to help out!
This bon mot from the Miami Herald: Apparently, Trump treats his employees like he does Mexican immigrants.
Trump’s [401(k)] contribution doesn’t completely belong to you for six years. That vesting schedule is the slowest allowed under U.S. law.
Shocking that such a major-league dick would treat his employees this badly. I mean, no it’s not.
Departing for his usual modesty, Head Dick has released a lengthy statement justifying his hatred of Mexicans. (Wait, he doesn’t mind some Mexicans, as long they’re busboys and dishwashers.) See it here:
Donald Trump statement on Mexico & illegal immigration
Though let’s face it: Probably more likely that someone in Trump’s camp deleted this tweet. Has the Dick ever admitted that he did anything wrong? Ever? No.
Struck by this little gem from the Republican media machine The Wall Street
The 2016 clown-car of candidates has been up in arms over the past week not about the legalization of gay marriage or the affirmation of Obamacare. Nope, because one rich New York asshole has taken the GOP field by storm. Of course I’m talking about perhaps the biggest dick to run for president since Whig Maximilian R. Dickshine in 1846. That said, when a field of candidates who are as extreme and hateful as a group can be calls out Trump out for being…well, hateful, what does that say about the rich asshole? Think about it. Not one Republican candidate has an ounce of humility or humanity, yet they all speak in one voice saying Donald Trump is “too extreme” in his hatred of Mexicans. Really, Rand Paul? For it was you who, on the Rachel Maddow show in 2010, said you had some serious problems with the Civil Rights Act. And let’s not even begin with the hatred shown by Ted Cruz, Chris Christie, or Hater-in-Chief Bobby Jindal.
The real news behind the WSJ piece is the fact that all the GOP candidates criticizing Trump for his racist comments have themselves made comments just as hateful, if not more so. But now they come out of the woodwork with a newfound sense of charm and class to tell the GOP electorate that they’re human? One, it’s too late and two, the GOP electorate is one fueled by hate. Thus, Señor Dick is eating most of their (non-Mexican) lunches. Just look at the recent polls.
You have to wade through a whole bunch of pointless drivel and rookie chest-thumping before Señor Dick really shows his supreme dickishness. He ends by making a side-note about Newsweek.
“It’s a great magazine,” he quipped. “I was on two covers, at least one.”
You’re right, Don, you WERE on at least one cover. Oh, we happen to have it here.